Awareness, Alignment, and Intention

               Picture of Pelicans on the sand ridge on Bow River at Bankside - Picture by J Hirst

I practice awareness, alignment, and intention. I am in complete balance. I say yes to better experiences. The universe has my back. —Daily Motivation (dailymotivation.site)

I find it more difficult at times to maintain my cool - my awareness and alignment and intention - with all of the strife in the world and around me when I leave the house.  Our house and yard have become a sanctuary over time.  Going out to a grocery store brings complexities that did not exist several years ago.

My intention is to be a good, kind person that gets along with all...much like the pelicans in the picture.  I practice meditations for loving kindness, for gratitude, for tolerance.  Sometimes, though, a person crosses your path that makes it so difficult to find the good qualities in them, it is sometimes simpler to walk away from them.

How are you doing in maintaining awareness, Alignment, and Intention?

Blessings,

Judy

 

Overcoming Helplessness

Picture of clouds lifting from Microsoft Clip Art…

 

 

I had a question from a reader asking how one can overcome helplessness.  It was not clear if the helplessness was for the person or for a friend.  Keep in mind that often helplessness is a learned behaviour . It is learned from parents who tell you that you cannot do anything and therefore do everything for you.  And it can come from an injury or illness where others must do everything for you because you are helpless at the time.  Then, being helpless feels comfortable because one is used to it.  Helplessness becomes a way of life.

Some of the tools that I use in coaching folks on how to move beyond helplessness, comes from a book Helplessness by Martin E. P. Seligman.  If you feel helpless or you have someone that you see as helpless or powerless in your life, try this, and read the book.

“Helplessness, then, can be recognized by: 

1. Lack of motivation, listlessness. 
2. Cognitive breakdown between actions and outcomes - inability to link actions to the consequences they bring about - also manifests as blaming others or external factors for your situation, condition, and outcomes. 
3. Negative emotions: boredom, anxiety, frustration, anger, hopelessness, depression (sometimes suicidal).

Apply this procedure to cure helplessness: 

1. Recognize your helplessness, lack of motivation, listlessness. 
2. Recognize that as a baby and subsequently you've had many experiences where you were unable to control consequences or outcomes. 
3. Recognize your negative emotions: boredom, anxiety, frustration, anger, hopelessness, depression. Acknowledge them to yourself, for example, by saying, "I recognize that I feel helpless, hopeless, and depressed." 
4. Consciously and deliberately choose to experience any or all of these emotions. Make a cognitive link between that choice and what you experience, for example, by saying to yourself, "I consciously decide to feel helpless, hopeless, and depressed. Therefore I feel helpless, hopeless, and depressed." 
5. Perform a simple action such as washing the dishes or combing your hair. Observe the consequences or outcome. Form a cognitive link between your action and its outcome. (Examples below.) 
6. Divide a sheet of paper into three columns. In the second column list both positive and negative outcomes you've experienced during the past 24 hours, including emotions. In the first column write down your corresponding actions or inactions that preceded those outcomes. In the third column write down the causal or cognitive links between actions/inactions and outcomes. Consider only your own actions and inactions. (How to express the causal or cognitive link is explained below.) 
7. Don't blame others or external factors for anything.
8. Pat yourself on the back for all the positive consequences you did produce.” 

from Helplessness by Martin E. P. Seligman

Blessings,

Judy

Redefine Yourself!

Picture from Highwood Trail, part of Kananaskis Country

The following motivations come from https://www.dailymotivation.site/?utm_source=dailynewsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=daily

• You are not defined by your past. 

• Things have changed and so have you.

• Life is dynamic. Don't limit yourself to what once was. 

• Stop over-thinking what has happened. Focus on living well in the present. 

• The present moment is giving you opportunities to create better experiences and transform your perspective.

I see so many people, friends and family included, who are stuck in a past situation.  For me, this is a sign of PTSD.  A trauma occurred and now the person is stuck.  If one is truly in balance as Nature intended, the past is a rolling event that is like a past movie.  Details are difficult to recall.  However, when someone keeps repeating the same story of an event that happened and how they are the victim in the story, the person gets time-locked in that emotion and in the reactions.  Talk about stuck in a rut!

So the solution to being stuck is to let it go!  It is not the situation that is the problem but how one reacts to it.

What changes will you make this week?

Many Blessings,

Judy