What Is Your Hot Button?

We all have personal sensitivities—“hot buttons”—that are evoked in close relationships. Mindfulness practice helps us to identify them and disengage from our habitual reactions, so that we can reconnect with our partners. We can mindfully address recurring problems with a simple four-step technique: (1) Feel the emotional pain of disconnection, (2) Accept that the pain is a natural and healthy sign of disconnection, and the need to make a change, (3) Compassionately explore the personal issues or beliefs being evoked within yourself, (4) Trust that a skillful response will arise at the right moment.  – Christopher Germer, "Getting Along"

I read this quote and realized how appropriate it is for these times when we are all on a short fuse and anxious about what will happen.  I wondered how many people are finding that the hot buttons that they thought were dealt with are now popping up in the most odd places, and anger is being triggered.  Or perhaps it is not anger, it is simply the huge reaction (emotional) that you have to something.  Triggers are all about learning – around self, family, and beliefs. 

What beliefs do you carry that are not helping you?  What values are out dated?  What people are no longer going to be part of your life because you need to move on? 

These questions are ones that we see pop up everyday.  How are you handling them?

Blessings,

Judy

Buddha’s Advice on “Who Do You Believe?”

Last week, I had a question from a reader who wanted to know about information in a book they were reading.  The question was to ask me to confirm if the book was correct or not in what it was saying.  

This is a tough question because depending on the book, and when the book was written, the information may have been true at the time, and now in the 21st century, it may be proven false. 

When I wonder about information because something about it doesn’t ring true, I go back to the words of Buddha.  In his teaching that has become known as the “Kalama Sutta”.  The word “Kalama” refers to the people in the village in a township in India that had the question around “what is the correct teaching?”.  The word “sutta” has a complex meaning.  However, for simplicity’s sake, let’s agree that it means “rules”.  The teaching then, is “Rules for the Kalama”.  The principles are sound.  Buddha says not to take anything on face value.

Well, I won’t say anymore.  Read this and you will see how sound this advice is.  But, don’t take my word for it!  (Smile.)

Judy

  

Kalama Sutta

The people of Kalama asked the Buddha who to believe out of all the ascetics, sages, venerables, and holy ones who, like himself, passed through their town. They complained that they were confused by the many contradictions they discovered in what they heard. The Kalama Sutta is the Buddha's reply. 

• Do not believe anything on mere hearsay. 
• Do not believe in traditions merely because they are old and have been handed down for many generations and in many places. 
• Do not believe anything on account of rumors or because people talk a a great deal about it. 
• Do not believe anything because you are shown the written testimony of some ancient sage. 
• Do not believe in what you have fancied, thinking that, because it is extraordinary, it must have been inspired by a god or other wonderful being. 
• Do not believe anything merely because presumption is in its favor, or because the custom of many years inclines you to take it as true. 
• Do not believe anything merely on the authority of your teachers and priests. 
• But, whatever, after thorough investigation and reflection, you find to agree with reason and experience, as conducive to the good and benefit of one and all and of the world at large, accept only that as true, and shape your life in accordance with it. 
• The same text, said the Buddha, must be applied to his own teachings. 
• Do not accept any doctrine from reverence, but first try it as gold is tried by fire. 

                                                           ∆ ∆ ∆ ∆

Many blessings,

Judy

Does Karma Take Too Long?

 

I saw this poster, and thought,

“That is the problem we have today, everyone would rather fight than try to work things out.  I think that it is a product of impatience, and ego, and training.  We have learned through history that the one with the bigger stick seems to win.  So, that is what we focus on – winning.  Winning is really a form of losing when the solution only solves the problem for one person or group.  If you win, you have failed, as a leader, because not everyone is happy.  While I agree that there are some folks that you will probably never satisfy, the majority are happy and look for solutions to what keeps them from doing their job, or from living their life in peace and with ease.”

Perhaps I am wrong in my thoughts. Perhaps this poster has it right.  Perhaps we should defend ourselves, and do what is in our power to prevail over others with our own thoughts and values.  

What are your thoughts?

Blessings

Judy