Feeling Grief

 

"Puff ball in a field" picture by Judith Hirst-Joyeux June 2008

When practicing any healing, the emotion "grief" seems to show up with regular frequency. I think this definition from Wikipedia says it all - "Grief is a multi-faceted response to loss". The loss may be for any thing or person or animal. It may even be a perceived loss, and not a loss that we would normally associate with grief. Since grief is a personal or unique response, it is hard to gage how deeply it does affect the individual. Grief carried too long without release takes the form of physical dis-eases or illnesses. Grief will manifest in lung problems. Louise Hay in her book You Can Heal Your Life talks about grief/lung problems as "fear of taking in life". 

Since grief is an emotion, and in Shamanism, emotion is associated with water, the body filling up with water - lungs filling up, water around the heart - indicate that grief may be at the root of these illnesses. It seems too that grief may be inherited. When an event happens and the grief is not dealt with at the time, the grief seems to be captured and passed on at a cellular level.

Grief is very prevalent in the world and a large topic of conversation. I say "large" because the number of web sites containing the word "grief" total 28,600,000 web sites, when I did a search. It is the topic of books, prayers, poems, stories, songs, and has become a whole counselling discipline. One solution to heal grief is when the individual recognizes that it is grief they are feeling and they decide to deal with it and ease it. 

The Buddhists call this part of the practice of "Mindfulness". When one is aware of the feeling/energy and stays with it, and judges it not and lets it be, it has a chance to take shape, and then the energy can be released. The saying "time heals all things" really means that we, by our choices and actions heal ourselves.

I have been mindful of the sadness that I carry over the loss of my nephew very recently.  I throw the emotion to fire, in a traditional Incan Fire Ceremony, and I cry when I feel the urge to do so.  I do not stop the crying until it stops itself.  I feel it to completion.

I wish for you to have the time to feel your emotions to completion.

Blessings,

Judy

A Story About A Ghost

 This story comes from Zen Buddhist teachings.  There are several different lessons in this story. Which lessons are apparent to you?  Post your thoughts in the comments section below the blog.

                                     Picture from J Hirst -taken of Elbow Falls in August 2021

 Banishing a Ghost

 The wife of a man became very sick. On her deathbed, she said to him, "I love you so much! I don't want to leave you, and I don't want you to betray me. Promise that you will not see any other women once I die, or I will come back to haunt you."

For several months after her death, the husband did avoid other women, but then he met someone and fell in love. On the night that they were engaged to be married, the ghost of his former wife appeared to him. She blamed him for not keeping the promise, and every night thereafter she returned to taunt him. The ghost would remind him of everything that transpired between him and his fiancée that day, even to the point of repeating, word for word, their conversations. It upset him so badly that he couldn't sleep at all.

Desperate, he sought the advice of a Zen master who lived near the village. "This is a very clever ghost," the master said upon hearing the man's story. "It is!" replied the man. "She remembers every detail of what I say and do. It knows everything!" The master smiled, "You should admire such a ghost, but I will tell you what to do the next time you see it."

That night the ghost returned. The man responded just as the master had advised. "You are such a wise ghost," the man said, "You know that I can hide nothing from you. If you can answer me one question, I will break off the engagement and remain single for the rest of my life." "Ask your question," the ghost replied. The man scooped up a handful of beans from a large bag on the floor, "Tell me exactly how many beans there are in my hand."

At that moment the ghost disappeared and never returned.

Remembrance Day November 11 2022

                                                  

Today, in Canada, is Remembrance Day.  It is a time of quiet remembering of our family and friends, and for many of us, of our Ancestors, who believed in their faith and in truth, and have fought in different wars around the world, to help keep democracy strong and to protect others from dictators.  

Blessings,

Judy